The Final Decision -To Be or not, and the Dubai dessert takes the lead with the white chocolate coconut Rasbery mousse falling slightly behind

So here’s the thing—some wonderfully constructive (and brutally honest) souls recently told me I need to advertise more to broaden my market. Which is cute, because I actually have a digital media degree. Yes, I know what SEO is. But what most don’t know is this: I’m a one-man show. A blogstress by night, culinary tornado by day.

In a single 24-hour spin cycle, I can bake three quiches, blast off 24 mini bundt cakes, whip up five different soups, epoxy my office counter, build actual trees (no, really, they’re shockingly realistic), paint my floors, schedule my cleaning lady, bus tables, wash dishes, navigate city permits, wrestle with the Department of Revenue, rework the menu, respond to reviews, and still find time to create a grocery list so I can do it all again tomorrow. Do I feel superhuman? Yes. Do I feel bored? Never. Do I feel sad? Sometimes. Is my Ozempic still working? Absolutely not. Is my husband snoring while I write this? You bet he is.

Now, that might’ve sounded like the diary of a manic small biz owner, but let’s make it a little more delicious. The high tea menu is officially finalized. After weeks of testing and intense internal debate (yes, with myself), here it is:

• Olympia’s homemade egg salad – perfectly whipped, and maybe (just maybe) with a hint of relish if I’m feeling edgy.

• Tarragon-infused chicken salad and cranberry chicken salad – nestled on croissants from a French baker who might actually be descended from pastry royalty.

• Homemade quiche – light, cheesy, and made with half-and-half because we reject sadness and skim milk.

• If I’m in a mood or you’ve been especially polite to my staff, you might get a baked gouda apple biscuit. (We reward good behavior here.)

Let’s talk scones. We serve American-style scones – soft, blueberry-blackberry, lightly glazed with lemon and sprinkled with powdered sugar. Not like the dry ones you need a dental plan to chew. Sorry Brits, but your scones are as dry as your humor.

Then, the real show: desserts. Ohhh, the desserts.

• .

  • The Dubai tart – chocolate-melted, filo-wrapped, and topped with homemade pistachio cream.

  • Macaroons – but not the lame store ones. These are 100% homemade with homemade filling. (Because Olympia doesn’t play.)

  • The lemon curd blueberry tart – aka the fruit dessert to end all fruit desserts.

  • White chocolate berry mousse and chocolate cookie mousse in adorable little shot glasses.

  • And if you hit the sweet spot of my mood, a mini bundt cake (lemon, cherry, or pistachio) with matching icing.

  I don’t need a billboard or a salesman to bring in the masses. Just good food, good people, and maybe a pinch of chaos.

  And now, as I tuck myself into bed with visions of tomorrow’s table map dancing in my head (two parties of ten and six other seatings to finesse), I say this:

  Good night, y’all. Your blogstress needs her beauty sleep.